It is time! Mariah-Christmas is upon us, and it doesn’t care if you observe the holiday in the Judeo-Christian-ugly-sweater way. Or in the agnostic-consumer tradition. Or if you’re just simply trying to buy groceries in a store with a PA system.

For the next four weeks, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” will be everywhere. From the blanket of mall snow laid at the foot of the plastic tree to the cinnamon-scented air you breathe, resistance is futile.

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